<aside> <img src="/icons/chat_blue.svg" alt="/icons/chat_blue.svg" width="40px" /> At 19 I was a fragment of myself.
Driving my car I would consider if I should pull the wheel and drive into something.
I don't say this lightly, I was seriously not okay.
What happened at this time can only be described as beyond myself or human form.
...
For years I had known of a book titled "The Power Of Now". I even started reading it at 16; closing it one chapter in.
"What a bunch of mumbo jumbo."
Little did I know the book would save, or more so create, my life. The one I lead today.
It was a summer break after university and I had nothing to lose. Things couldn't get much worse so I had little ambition to do anything aside from curl up in a ball or watch TV by myself.
Instead I did three things:
1. I went to the gym every day
2. I focused on growing my personal brand on social media
3. I read The Power Of Now, over and over and over again; treating it like a modern day bible
What did the book teach me? How to dis-identify with my thoughts. How to become The Observer rather than The Thinker.
I removed all stress, pressure, and contributing factors to my poor mental state; and focused my full attention on battling my thoughts.
Seems a strange idea right?
Imagine if your sole focus was catching your thinking mind and bringing yourself back to the present moment; any time you weren't proactively using it to think through a task.
Well, that's what I did.
Any time a thought crept into my mind that I didn't place there, I would visualise a flash light in my head. Almost like "catching" The Thinker, or a child that's been misbehaving.
"I see you."
With time The Thinker lost its power and I became The Observer.
I was intensely in-tune with my senses. Especially sight, I could "see" in a way that I never had before.
Most of us go through these motions unconsciously. I was fully conscious.
I would look out the window at trees in utter amazement. The sounds of birds would fill me with pure joy. I would ride the train and feel like the only conscious person, even though all the seats were filled.
Needless to say this was a transformative period of my life. But it didn't last forever.
It was no longer practical to use all of my willpower fighting The Thinker, and so it slowly crept back in.
My life changed forever, however. Things started to go from good to great, great to unthinkable, unthinkable to surreal.
People spend years in the ashrams of India chasing such a state, or embark on spiritual journeys such as a vipassana (I would describe this as a silent meditation retreat) or spending extended periods of time in total darkness.
I found it in my hometown of Reading, but again, as Eckhart Tolle describes his story in the book, only from the deepest depths of darkness and despair.
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<aside> <img src="/icons/reorder_blue.svg" alt="/icons/reorder_blue.svg" width="40px" /> Watch Out For The Thinker
“I cannot live with myself.”
There are two people in this statement, “I” and the “self”.
You are not your mind.
You are The Observer. Your mind is The Thinker.
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<aside> <img src="/icons/circle_blue.svg" alt="/icons/circle_blue.svg" width="40px" /> Practice 1: Body Scan
Find a seated position
Take 10 breaths, counting each breath in your head
Bring awareness to your head: Any tension, how the weight distribution feels, connect with features on your head (eyes, nose, mouth—you can even twitch these muscles)
Shift this awareness to your neck, then to your shoulders, back, chest, stomach… working your way through the full body
Once complete: See how long you can last without thinking, take multiple attempts if necessary, bringing yourself back to a no-thought state when you catch yourself thinking
Tip for improvement: Deepen awareness to your senses
<aside> <img src="/icons/circle_blue.svg" alt="/icons/circle_blue.svg" width="40px" /> Practice 2: Catch The Thinker: A Child Within
Catch the thoughts in your mind as you would a child that’s misbehaving.
When you become aware of the child within, visualise a flashlight at the back of your brain; shine it on The Thinker.
The Thinker gains power through your lack of awareness that it exists.
Therefore, catching it depletes it’s power.
Every time you catch it, it’s like performing a bicep curl for your ability to find presence.
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